"ohhh wahhh the problem with building out america's rail network is that nobody wants to live next to train tracks-" I DO BITCH!!!!!!!! #I<3INDUSTRIALNOISES #SEXWITHATRAIN
SLUT WORLD IS UNDER ATTACK
I'm imagining a fortune teller who's also a child so her idea of what a good fate is vs a terrible one isn't really in line with her clients at all
Imagine u go to visit the oraclet (oracling?) and she tells u there's untold riches in your future and later it becomes very apparent that what she was predicting was you winning $20 from a lottery ticket
She dismisses every wedding she predicts as a Terrible Fate because she thinks the kissing is cringe
we used to get christmas episodes of television. halloween episodes. valentines. we used to get television that felt like part of your life. like it was happening alongside your life. now we mostly get 8 episodes dropping all at once every two years and they don't have time for any of that. i miss characters living alongside us
why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead
this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job
Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety?
“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.”
I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…
I mean.
“WHAT THE FUCK STAY AWAY FROM THE ROCKS.”
“FUCKER THEY SAID THEY HAVE FETTUCCINE CARBONARA AND HOT GARLIC BREAD OVER THERE HANG ON BITCH.”
This is true; Odysseus heard them promising him knowledge of the future. So the next time you see artwork like this:
Remember those sultry naked chicks are saying “We’ll tell you the winning lotto numbers.”
Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~”
Me: *diving headfirst into the water*
This post is a blessing
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Oh my god sirens were literally scam websites
Oh my god they were phishing
World Heritage Post
love westerns that were like “fuck it, we’ll give the housewives something to watch. leaning into this sexy kind-hearted cowboy thing without shame”
Rowdy from Rawhide was put in multiple fan service type situations every episode for all the bored 1950s housewives watching. The fact Clint Eatswood managed to branch out from cougar bait TV cowboy to action movie star is nothing short of a miracle.
he had to go all the way to Italy to escape this legacy
why is he wearing 2 belts? Are his boxers going to fall down? Is this the opposite of sagging? Have they evolved? Will they regress?
I have so many questions
I was like “The cowboy has a gun belt on, duh. That’s one of the more essential cowboy gear pieces. How do they not recognize it?” and then I realized you’re British.
It’s one of these.
“I LUH YOU….BIIIIIIIIIIITCH”
“I AINT NEVER GON STOP LOVIN YOU……BIIIIIITCH”
insane some people don't use ad blockers? babe why r u rawdogging the internet
it's a CESSPIT out there. wrap it before ya tap it babes!!!
the notes are insane
- "im on mobile" adblocking exists for mobile
- "im broke :(" ADBLOCKING IS FREE
- "im lazy" i truly sympathize with executive dysfunction, but this is one of those quality-of-life things you need to prioritize. 3 minutes of research/installation will save you a thousandfold in time and energy. it can even help with brain fog (most people don't realize how much mental energy ads actually steal)
- "i like ads" my jaw is on the fucking floor. you chose to live in a sewer, yet you will never be a ninja nor a turtle. you do not have a warrior's heart.
"adblock exists for mobile"
"Adblock is free"
That doesn't sound real but okay.
*inhaling deeply and reminding myself that Shaking The Baby only endangers the baby, and does not assist it to learn or grow* in spite of everything there are beautiful and important truths within this world that you must learn, and i must help you to learn
Adblock DNS is easy to install! Works for all phones! It works on most ads, but not video or tumblr.
Settings → Network → Private DNS, paste in dns.adguard.com
ALT⬆️⬆️⬆️ Can confirm, I use this method (alongside others) on android. for iOS the steps are different (and it may be easier to install the AdGuard DNS app instead)
the above will decrease the amount of ads you see system-wide. however: hands down the BEST ANDROID ADBLOCKING feature is the ability to install Firefox with uBlock Origin enabled.
Install Firefox -> Settings -> Extensions -> uBlock Origin
this only blocks browser ads, but HOLY SHIT does that matter if you try browsing websites over apps when possible. which you should bc it's awesome and gives you SO much more control. E.g. blocks youtube.com ads and you can play videos in the background. works with spotify.com too
Pro tip: toggle on 'Desktop site' to avoid mobile sites that are purposely designed to bully you into using the app. Desktop mode fixes a surprising number of problems
Note: for iOS users this isn't possible bc Apple hates your guts, but there are other browser options with built-in adblocking, e.g. Firefox Focus, Brave
One massive, legitimate way to improve as a writer or artist or in any creative endeavor really, is to become absolutely obsessed with something and to allow yourself to be weird about it. Genuinely mean this btw.