god I wish I had a pair of menacing black gauntlets with really sharp fingertip claws I bet it feels good as fuck to have your hands resting palm-down on a surface and then scratch some deep fucking gashes into it as you clench your hand a little closer to a fist when your evil minion delivers some bad news to you

ohhh fuck yeah, you understand

Right wing commentators really will freak out about anything.

They’re planning on opening some city owned grocery stores in NYC next year and these people are like it’s gonna be a disaster it’s gonna raise crime or whatever.

Oh no, a grocery store.

copia going to one of perpetua’s rituals and seeing his ghouls performing with him

"not all men"

you're right, Gale of Waterdeep, City of Splendors, would never

Nor would Halsin Silverbough, man who is the bear in the woods

Nor Wyll Ravengard, of the Frontiers & Avernus

Nor Minsc of Rasheman (Boo would never permit such behavior)

Emmrich: It's past my time. I'll endeavour to protect myself from my own emotional turmoil. not emotionally invested in anyone, i must focus on my work

Rook: exists

Emmrich: *sweating* oh bother

"not all men"

you're right, Gale of Waterdeep, City of Splendors, would never

It would be funny to get a pet pigeon, one that looks exacty like the feral pigeons in cities, and start making videos with an ongoing bit that random birds keep flying into your apartment. Just handheld footage of you filming your sweetie bird on your kitchen table like "look at this fucking thing. I can't keep my window open for TWO FUCKING MINUTES without some bullshit happening. Like mate just fuck off." and the pigeon, who knows and loves you, is just like "coo :3" and you fake-angry go "don't you fucking coo at me you feathered piece of-" and cut it short with a fake-terror scream as the pigeon flies right at you, summoned by a nonverbal command you made off-camera.

"If you accept any food from the fae, they shall never let you go" is a human belief. The fair folk stand by the principle that if you feed 'em, you gotta keep 'em. If wildlife learns to rely on you for food, you have already fucked up, and you can't just stop feeding them cold turkey. That human is your responsibility now. Because you left your peach cobbler unsupervised.

reblog to slowblink at your mutuals

cats will be sitting there next to a full bowl of food looking at you like "perchance if thou will grant me the smallest morsel of sustenance I may yet survive the cruelty of this cold night"

Finally got the death scene animation during phase one of Victor's fight! He's having so much fun I can't help but smile. 🥰

headphones aren't enough i need to eat the song

Every once in a while I’m like “hm I think I’m due for a panic attack” and then I get a panic attack like the same day. Either I’m summoning them by thinking about it or I can smell them on the wind and it’s impossible to tell which tbh

If you ever wondered why they call tattoos and piercings "unprofessional" and "unsophisticated"

Source: Lainey Molnar