The crazy thing is, ninety-nine times out of a hundred, if you asked me on any given day “Would like to see a picture of some genitals?” my answer would be “😰 No, that’s… No, thank you. I’m okay, actually.” I have nothing but the utmost respect for people who do engage with the penis side of the internet, but personally, I’ve spent the better part of two decades doing all I can NOT to have pictures of dick and balls or sexy bikini babe buttcheeks blasted onto my retinas constantly. And yet… to be denied the penis? To have a jumped up pile of javascript tell me, a grown adult with an air fryer and an outstanding council tax bill, that I cannot be trusted to withstand the sight of a bare nipple unless I let it scan my drivers’ license? I will move heaven and earth to see that fucking nipple, friend. I will walk a thousand miles barefoot on hot coals before I give you big brother bitches my passport number. A thousand miles through the desert with five VPNs just to press my face up against the glass and see the last uncensored picture of two My Little Pony Characters sixty-nining each other, and I don’t even want! to look at it! But I will! I must! for the sake of our fucking democracy!
“When I was young, women were raped on the campus of a great university and the authorities responded by telling all the women students not to go out alone after dark or not to be out at all. Get in the house. (For women, confinement is always waiting to envelope you.) Some pranksters put up a poster announcing another remedy, that all men be excluded from campus after dark. It was an equally logical solution, but men were shocked at being asked to disappear, to lose their freedom to move and participate, all because of the violence of one man.”
— Rebecca Solnit, Grandmother Spider in Men Explain Things To Me and Other Essays
…Wow…it’s sad how much this blew my mind. Brilliant.
Finally, I can present you my little comic ‘Hearts for Sale’. These are the first 10 pages. I’m very nervous about this since it’s my first self-published book. I hope you like the story. Read Part 2/ Part 3
I can’t believe I made this story 12 years ago! It has been forever…
i think “bedtime abolitionist” is an unserious pejorative and i think less of people who use it. it’s bad that children’s lives are so heavily regimented, actually, and it’d be good for them to have more autonomy in these matters.
but, yknow. ruthless criticism of all that exists unless it makes you look like a whiny child, or something.
I used to work extensively with kids and I am unironically a bedtime abolitionist.
Specifically at summer camp, I noticed that trying to enforce a bedtime would result in nights of me going cabin to cabin telling kids to be quiet repeatedly until 1-2AM. Then we would all be cranky and exhausted about it the whole week, and it made me come off like a controlling asshole to the kids cause…I was being a controlling asshole. And like, I was young enough to have really salient memories of having been a camper, so excited to talk to new friends that I didn’t sleep - the kids had good reason to stay up!
So I figured out that I could, instead, lay out the first night that they could stay up as late as they wanted, and talk to their friends, as long as they were physically in bed with lights off. I would get a lot more sleep and was better able to function in the morning, and if a kid complained about being tired the next day, I would ask about how long they stayed up the previous night and let them connect the dots themselves. Inevitably, most kids would stay up really late the first night, and then they would self-regulate and get to sleep way quicker, because they were motivated to balance their own wants & needs instead of an adult breathing down their neck about an arbitrary externally-imposed sleep deadline.
I started extending this method to more things, trying to make sure my role was less Authority Figure and more resource for learning how to care for themselves. I went through college and found it was backed up by a lot of the research out there on parenting and teaching styles. Literally just respecting the autonomy of kids in my care and talking them through decisions instead of telling them what to do would make “behavioral issues” evaporate, and make both me and the kids happier. It helped even more when I started working with traumatized kids and teens in foster care after college. Sometimes a kid would even point out to me when a given rule in a workplace didn’t make sense and I could give them an exception and/or go to my boss and try to get things changed. Often, arbitrary rules from higher-ups made things way more difficult for everyone.
Trying to explain this to authoritarian parents AND my worse bosses over the course of my childcare career was like pulling teeth.
Kids deeply crave autonomy and responsibility, and if you give them the former they will often gladly take up the latter, but you have to give them the chance to make their own choices and make non-life-threatening mistakes first. But to someone who views a kid as property, or even a well-intentioned perfectionist parent, the idea of giving a kid that autonomy is terrifying, so they try to make it sound absurd to justify maintaining control.
Anyway, yeah, bedtime abolition forever. The kids will do just fine without bedtime.
It is actually way better for 100 addicts to get their fix on pain pills than a single person in pain go without. I call this the “Torture is bad” principle. You should be able to get the good stuff forever after a single doctor’s visit. If you’re worried about addicts fund rehab centers and needle exchanges instead of torturing people.
Among other things if you can’t use the legit market you turn to the black market anyway.
if you’re worried about addiction, build a society where people get their basic needs met, including pain management.
